


with no sense of belonging

by Jupiter_Queen



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, Beast Boy and Slade make appearances, Drabble, Gen, Tragedy, but it's centered around Terra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 16:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiter_Queen/pseuds/Jupiter_Queen
Summary: Only three traits defined Terra's hellish existence called life. (Drabble.)





	with no sense of belonging

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on fanfiction.net in November 2016. The title comes from a lyric in "Rootless" by Marina and the Diamonds.
> 
> This was my first time ever writing about Terra. In retrospect, this is among my favorite pieces of writing. Hope you enjoy.

You don't have any friends," Beast Boy hissed at Terra, the familiar sensation of abandonment returning.

And it echoed.

And it bit.

And it  _stung_.

The venom of loneliness had seeped in once again, paralyzing any thoughts of belonging that she ever had. She fooled herself into thinking she could ever belong to the Teen Titans. She was not them. She would never be them. She would never belong to anyone.

Even before she gained the ability to shake the earth, in her past life which brought bitterness to her lips, she did not feel welcome. She did not feel included. She felt like a secret, an accident. She could not see her place amongst her own family, which forced her to hone her first skill: the art of running away.

She found that the life of a vagabond suited her best, seeing that she didn't belong with her own bloodline. She only seemed to repulse them when she was present.

The first group of people who thought she belonged only wanted her as a test subject. They saw a girl who ran with the earth and sought to do more with her. They desired to make her great, make her a girl who used the earth as her shield.

But that only backfired.

She used her geokinetic curse against them and only ran further since then.

As she approached the western half of the United States, she thought she could use her power to manipulate the earth for good. She truly did. She found satisfaction in hurling rocks at petty thieves and sending small rifts into the earth to subdue them.

She thought she belonged within the hero lifestyle until she leveled a small town in Utah. The criminals she sought to apprehend had overwhelmed her just as she began to hone the art of manipulating her terrain. They diminished her narrow sense of control, making her scream until the earth rumbled beneath her.

The ground pounded, cars totaled, glass shattered, buildings collapsed, and asphalt crumbled. But that wasn't the worst of it. It was the shrieks of innocent people and the bloodshed that broke her. She looked at her own hands as if she was a murderer.

Perhaps this was how Slade found her.

When the Titans found her, however, they didn't know of the calamity that was just as nomadic as she was. They didn't know that Terra and destruction inhabited the same body. But they gave her a chance anyways, and she mistakenly let them. Maybe— _just maybe_ , she hoped—this was the universe's way of demonstrating that she belonged within the realm of superheroes after all. She was not a murderer.

She wouldn't have to play pretend anymore because the Titans of Jump City saw her potential, especially Beast Boy, the best boy she had ever known. He thought she belonged on the team more than anybody and believed she belonged by his side.

It hurt like the fissures of hell that she had to crush his belief in her.

She had no sense of belonging; that's what Slade taught her. He showed her that she could never save anyone, not even herself. All she caused was disaster and heartache, but he lured her into temptation with the promise of reigning that in, of being able to use her destructive abilities to be what she should have been all along.

Slade revealed to her the third skill she was meant to hone: the art of loneliness. She was meant to be alone. She did not belong in this world. She would never know a life outside of isolation. And it consumed her.

 


End file.
